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"Your heart keeps you bound. Part 1" Sunday, 11-Jun-2000 18:10:19
There are three constants in life 1. We are all dieing 2. Gravity pulls you down 3. Your heart keep you bound No matter what you to do, how you plan to get there, one thing remains “You will die.” How you arrive at your final resting stop is another story and is not the point to life the journey. ______________________________________ I’ve been walking this dead end street for what seems an eternity. Each day I wake, I open my eyes to the same room. It has become my cage. My life stories are painted on the walls. I see my hand in everything around. It is a place that I own, a yet it seems almost foreign. I walk down the streets trying to be a chameleon. If no one notices my presence it is a happy day. I can sit and watch the world before me. My destination is “unknown” and yet I always arrive at the same place. I hail a cab, trying to not think about the musty stench that corrupts the air as I open the door. “Planet Xynlone, Please.” My place of sanctuary is found only there. The cab driver looks at me peculiarly. “Oh sorry, 512 Hubert and Main, Please.” The driver bolts out into the lane like a lunatic escaping from a mental institution. I bite down and try to act calmly. I stare blankly ahead. A stoplight turns red. Great another moment in these revolting surroundings. The 30ish, overweight, lost in his little league years taxi driver peers back. “Hey there, I’m thinking of taking a trip to the wilderness. What to come along and get down and dirt.” I roll my eyes, threw a five down the slot, and bolted out of the cab. Some people. Oh a five block walk for me. Joy. I walk down the street. Entertaining myself by deducing what the person walking past was thinking. A few times I turn on my telepathic abilities even though I know that it is forbidden to use my skills on this planet, but it’s not like it takes much anyways, most people are rather predictable. Oh yes, here we are the gateway to Hell. The Smarkson Building of Industrial Technologies. I go into a nearby phone booth and quickly depose of the exterior clothing. I initiate invisibility. Then wait till outside the door till someone comes, to exit or enter. Finally my chance, I slid through the revolving doors as another person exited. The security guard seems more interested in what looks to be a Vogue magazine. Now that is some good literature. I shook my head and continued. I measured my energy, a quarter of it is gone. I should relax it uses more energy with I am flustered. Regardless I continued. I tookk a brief moment to remember the analysis of the building architectural integrity. I conclude that I need to go to the 23rd floor. I went to the elevator and found that it only went to the 19th floor, so 19 it is. My stomach turned as the mass propelled its way up. You would think that they could afford a building with decent elevators. I began wonder if I was in a elevator or on a fair ride. The door finally stammered open. I spoted a restroom half way down the hall and notice that I should recharge. Only half of my energy is used, but some intense meditation would do wonders. The 19th floor seemed rather unused. No one is in the bathroom, thankfully. I locked the door and released my grip onto the deterior world. I stumbled to the sink. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I usually could do this in my sleep. I looked into the mirror and wondered if it is was myself staring back at me or some facade. I looked down, at this indecent world. Couldn’t they at least use carpet, but no that was unheard of. When you walked into a house it was like walking into a panel of steel and glass. Nothing could be hidden; all was left spotless to mirror the imperfections of a faultless society. Such a paradox and yet what difference did that really matter. I missed home. I breathed in slowly and rolled my head back, slowly stopping to again try and see myself. I sighed as my void cerulean eyes focused on my matt of hair all honey and bronze in color. I tucked my hybrid locks behind my ears and turned away. I collapsed in a half lotus position and started the descent. Or was it an ascent. Time would tell, I guess. My mind instantly wondered to my home. I tried to remember every corner of my domain. Usually, on the summer day like this one, I would have journeyed to the Kaskinay Waterfall and bath in the lucent, cascading waters. However, today even with that peaceful thought, I concluded that I would just sit there and do nothing. I didn’t desire to do anything, but see his face. Even the Kaskinay couldn’t wash away the haze. I feel gravity weighting on my shoulders and I am ebbed out of my meditation. I wonder what he is doing. I breathed in deeply. Soon. Oh so soon I want held in your arms. I tried to contact him telepathically, but the mesh gets in the way. I can only feel his heart. I bounds and I know that he has felt me. I could feel the distress that I was causing. Longing. I sent a signal that will make him stop in his tracks, let him know I am thinking about him. Now back to the task at hand. I pull out my relaxor cream and apply a little of the goop to my neck. Maybe that will help. “Concentrate on your breathing. Just breath. “ How many times have I told myself this and yet it still seems the hardest task. Finally I got into a deep meditation and the energy started to rejuvenate. A picture is at the end of the path, it is a picture that is unfinished. Waiting for me to complete it. All the pictures of my life. That girl in the red dress. I am running, but from what. My mind clears and I go back to reality or rather a diffused version of it. I feel slightly refreshed and think I can at least make it through this assignment. I stand up and look at myself in the mirror. I splash some water on my face and towel it dry. The brown paper seems to melt in my hands. Filaments stick to my face hands and face. I felt more clean before. I vent my frustrations by winding the remaining fibers in a mush similar to cream of wheat. I mold it into a Z and toss it into the garbage. I altered my phase into delusional space and walk out the door. I surveyed the area and found another elevator. This one was state of the art. I inserted an identifier ,supplied to me, and the elevator arrived. I guess they thought that security cameras were unneeded with the high tech security system. Fools. I pressed the button for floor 23. There were a few scientist shuffling about, but as far as I could tell no one noticed my entrance or rather the elevator “peculiar” behavior. I visualized the floor structure and started my journey. Right. Left. Butterfly. Butterfly. And I arrived in to the holding area, my little treasure chest. I checked my energy. One-fifth down, should be plenty left. I pulled out the bag and inserted the netra field equalizer and the dibitzer. Now all that I have left is the escape. I started back the way I came and noticed a large conference room. It had quite a collection of people, I could tell that the informants must we meeting with the big wigs. I thought for a second that possibly I should stay, but I decided I wouldn’t press my luck. If I drained all my energy it would be very costly to restore, most costly to myself. I headed for the elevator. Two scientists, with rats in cages that seemed to have electrodes placed on them, were bickering about the test results they must have received. They were not too happy. They were beginning to make me very unhappy also because they seemed to dance around the elevator mental accosting the other of swaying their data. I scanned the room and noticed an open window. I decided that it was the best escape. I went to the edge and looked down. Then I peered up. I don’t care what Frerious told me I was going to ride my spaceship back. I suctioned the clasps in my pack to the wall and slowly started the climb. I reached the top and lifted myself over the ledge. I glanced around. This high up people could only see me as a bug. I went back to reality and signaled my ship. It sent a message that it would arrive in ten minutes. More lag time. Joy. I sat against the cold cement walls and waited. My hands felt repulsive. I rubbed them together making the fibers left from the towel slowly erode away. Then I just starred at the sky, wondering how I would free myself of this bondage. My ship arrived and I purred at it in relief. I got it and my roboti offered me some hot coco. I messed up it’s spiral hair showing my gratitude and it went back to then it left me alone, it’s retreating into it’s quarters. “Computer to the den.” To be continued..... _____________________________________ tell me what you think and if you want me to post any more :) Ziles |
| "Your heart keeps you bound. Part 1" (Ziles) (11-Jun-2000 18:10:19) |
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